on faithfulness

It’s been exactly forty-three days since I’ve graduated from college. It’s funny to think about four years ago when I first started this blog. I sat with my brand new computer, eager to shed words that sat in my mind carrying a heavy weight, and eager for my life to "get good" in college. And now I sit four years later with a “well loved” computer, almost prying these words from my mind.

Somewhere over these past four years I started to believe that my words don’t hold the weight I thought they did. I started believing that these words are not a rarity, but instead filled yet another subpar blog. I’ve been told both straightforward and nonverbally that I should shrink away from these words, not pronounce them proudly. But still, I wrote. Less frequently, often unsure what would come out as I sat in front of my keyboard, but still I wrote. And maybe this blog will hold more weight than this, but as I sit in front of this well loved computer, I understand one beautiful element of this blog: God’s faithfulness.

I’ve always had a yearning heart, longing for something I didn’t have. I still do in many ways. But the weeks surrounding my graduation, I was tricked and thought that finally, God was showing me His faithfulness. I was going on some seriously great dates, I was graduating college, I had interviews lined up, my friendships were all encouraging and everything just seemed right. But it was a trick, see? I for some reason thought, God is faithful when everything is good, that finally God was being the faithful God I'd been waiting for.

Don’t be tricked. God is still faithful even when it’s really, crazy hard. This is what I’ve been speaking over myself since I was rejected from a second interview, hard things came up in friendships, and my quarter life crisis was in full swing. The book of Hosea was where I landed with a group of crazy loving gals from a bible study I had led the previous year. Each day we’d read in our different cities, drink different types of coffee, and text our insights and share encouragement. Those days were when I saw the relentless love and faithfulness of our Sweet God. And it was in those days the Holy Spirit spoke those words to me. He can still be good and life can still be really hard. We can be crazy rebellious and awful and He’s still calling our names. We can be on the complete wrong path and He just gives us a simple hand to bring us back to Him. He loves us like crazy and will do anything to show us that.

So yes, He can be faithful by making everything go swimmingly and perfect for us, it wouldn’t be hard for Him. But I’ve seen more and more times that He’s protected me, challenged me, and brought Himself more glory through difficult situations, through proving faithful when things are hard. He is about bringing Himself glory. And I want to be about that too.

And, dear reader, I don’t know what is in store for the future of this blog but to you, here’s to seeking His faithfulness and trekking through hard changes and crazy fun life stages with grace in abundance.